Menopause Treatment > Sex Life > Discomfort during sex

Discomfort during sex

Aug 13, 2021

Discomfort during sex

How often have you and your partner started to get intimate and then had to stop because it’s too painful for you? How frustrating for both of you, especially when you now have more opportunity for daytime sex because the children are grown up, left home or just have better social lives than you do!

Over the counter lubricants are messy, embarrassing and, quite frankly, unpleasant to use, so you just hope your body behaves itself at the right time and, when it doesn’t, you put up with the discomfort because you’re worried your partner will get fed up or that your sex life will never be the same again. Given that intimacy is key even to the most longstanding relationships, loss of functionality can be devastating, emotionally and physically. If you’re in the early days of a new relationship, you really don’t want to be worrying whether or not you’ll be able to have sex comfortably – even the excitement of new love may not be enough and your renewed self confidence doesn’t deserve disappointment.

Why does your body not respond to stimulation how it used to? You’re healthy, active and feeling all the right emotional responses, including desire. Not only are you experiencing vaginal dryness, but there’s an uncomfortable itchiness and unusual tenderness. You just don’t feel sexy down there any more and no wonder you soon find excuses not to have penetrative sex.

As natural hormone levels decrease so too does the production of vaginal lubrication. At the same time, the skin lining the vaginal passage becomes thinner and more prone to bruising or damage. Natural elasticity of this whole area also reduces so there is less stretch to accommodate your partner during sex. Our natural reaction is to tense up, which further exacerbates the discomfort and the moment is lost.

By rebalancing oestrogen and progesterone through HRT, using a topical lubricant regularly to ensure the health of vaginal tissue and practising alternative ways to stimulate arousal through, for example, massage, the enjoyment of penetrative sex will return alongside improved libido and self confidence. This is a difficult subject for many women to discuss, even with their intimate partner, but Dr. Meyer understands how important a good sex life is at any age, but in particular, as we grow older and want to make the most of newfound freedom.

For more information about Dr Meyer or if you’re interested in booking a consultation with her, visit or contact the clinic directly here.